Description
“Because your rig deserves the same treatment as a $4,000 Italian briefcase.”
Introducing the AO Cuoio Series — the world’s first and only full-grain, hand-stitched, artisanal leather suspension system. Every component is lovingly wrapped by a third-generation Florentine leather craftsman we found on Craigslist who swears he trained in Tuscany.
What’s included:
- Leather-Wrapped Upper Control Arms — Embossed with the Apache Offroad crest so the mechanic at Jiffy Lube knows you’re different. Features a cross-stitch so tight it would make your grandmother weep.
- Quilted Leather Sway Bar End Links — Diamond-quilted, because if Chanel can do it to a handbag, we can do it to a sway bar link. Each one stamped “AO-SBLIF” so you never forget what it is when it’s caked in mud and regret.
- Full-Grain Leather Coil Springs — Powder coat is dead. We dip every spring in a proprietary leather tanning solution made from organic free-range something. The warm cognac tone pairs beautifully with Arizona red rock, trail dust, and the tears of your accountant.
- Leather-Sleeved Shocks — Your Apache shocks were already great. Now they look like they belong in a cigar lounge. The boot stays black because even we have limits. Barely.
FAQ:
Q: Will the leather hold up off-road?
A: We drove our FJ Cruiser through Sedona and it was fine. We think. We were too busy taking photos to check.
Q: Does this void my warranty?
A: It voids something. We’re not sure what. Possibly your dignity. Possibly ours.
Q: Is this real leather?
A: As real as our commitment to things that absolutely did not need to exist.
Q: Why?
A: Because every time someone crawls under your truck at the trail head, they should whisper “what the hell” with genuine reverence.
Q: Does it smell like leather?
A: Your entire undercarriage will smell like a new baseball glove doing 70 on the highway. You’re welcome.
Q: Can I get it in black?
A: No. Cognac or nothing. This is a lifestyle, not a menu.
MSRP: $̶̡̛̱̤͚̙͎Y̶̧̛̹̙̜̲̗̼̹͎̤͋̓̌ö̴̢̘̫̹̱̞̹́̍̈́̃̇̇̍͘͝ṵ̸̡̧̣̤͇̗͕̮̈́̇̐̊̈́͠ ̷̰͎̝̲̥͕̝̰̓̃c̶̡̩̲̫̥̘͋̈̈́ȃ̶̺̝̬̜̝̦̈́̇͑̈͛̑ṋ̸̨̮͈͇̮̫̒’̸̢̼̝̺͈̞̺̹̿t̵̟̬̝̦̖̊̋̉͐̀̏ ̶̯̣̙͐̉a̵̞̮̙̺̓f̸̲̮̟͇͕̮̫̊̑̊͊̑̍̏̽f̴̧͍̠̖̝̬̞̥̫̈́̑̿̎̿̏̌̅̚o̴̺͎̦͋̋̔̾̍r̸̡̙̅̎̈́d̵̩̉̔̎̾͛͗̋̋̕ ̵̡̰̣̘̰̮͌̈́̑̊̿̋̃͜ĩ̸̭̤̘̱͝ẗ̸̞̫̱̼̟̻́̅
Limited edition. Ships in a wooden crate lined with velvet. Crate smells incredible. You’ll want to keep the crate. Everyone keeps the crate.
APACHE OFFROAD — THE BRAVE
Now also: The Unnecessarily Well-Dressed
