Tired of your rope consistently disappointing you? Sick of towing things only to find that they have broken loose. Do you hate when your rope snaps just when you were about to pull your best friend to safety? Do you ever get that awkward feeling when you run out of things to talk about? More importantly, are you feeling unprepared for your next bear attack?
Well, we’d like to introduce you to Bear Rope!
Ever heard of the phrase, “fight fire with fire”? It means that you have to use something as strong as your enemy in order to defeat it, in fact, using a piece of your enemy itself!
Made of 100% bear hair, the strongest natural hair of any giant, terrifyingly ferocious creature on earth (maybe with the exception of an Armadillo), Bear Rope is a perfect fit for all of your roping needs and your rope cabinet won’t be complete without it!
Not afraid of bears but could use a few to help you get your truck unstuck from the mud? No problem! Bear Rope can handle that too!
Bear Rope has so many functions, we may not have enough bullet points:
- Strong, unbreakable and uncuttable
- Bear resistant/attracting
- Strength to hold up to 16 tons
- Dogs love it
- Great for a Tug o’ War
- Will help you break up with your girlfriend
- Will help you get back together with your girlfriend
We could go on …and we will!
- Use it to change your oil
- Use it to jump start your off-road vehicle
- Use it for awkward conversations with your kid
- Use it to charge your electric car when it leaves you stranded.
- Perfect for towing your Jeep, Dodge, or Chevy truck
- Great for magic
Basically, this product can solve any of your daily problems! Don’t believe us? Buy some and give it a try! You’ll have 30 minutes to return it, free of charge!
So, if you’re worried about getting mauled by a sleuth of bears, in need of an upgrade to your tightrope-walking game or just wanting to get into fashion, get yourself some Bear Rope!
The longer you live, the longer you’ll get to use it.