Description
Close your eyes and let us paint a picture—you are on the road, sorry, you are off-road and your super high clearance 4WD rides smoothly over boulders and roots, rivers and oceans. And while you are enjoying the high view, you realize something’s wrong. What’s that nagging feeling that won’t let you relish your elevated status? What’s that squeaking sound following you around?
We know! It’s the unsustainable lift kit you’re using! Is there no limit to your egoism? Don’t you have kids? Or at least a house plant?
But, don’t worry, there’s hope! Get off the floor, mop your tears, and look at what Apache Offroad has brought to you this April:
The first and only Wood™ Lift kit, sourced from sustainable, Amazon wood!
It is a fact that one in thirty million Americans worry daily about the origins of their lift kits. Our kit addresses this acute problem by being made exclusively out of recyclable, breathable, wooden, natural Wood™!
The Sustainable Wood™ Lift kit offers:
- wood pulp coil spacers that will afford an impressive 0.00004-inch lift
- ‘wooden’ suspension (inflatable pillows are life-savers for those first few rides. Disclaimer: we haven’t used this kit for more than a few rides. Okay, for more than one ride.)
- an altered sense of steering geometry (because who doesn’t like surprises when off-road?)
- adventure! (You will get stuck on the side of the road—for sure)
- boasting rights (because it’s that expensive!)
- not much more!
- and a manual (non-recyclable)
- Totally Eliminates Body Roll and Nose Diving under hard braking
ATTENTION: The Sustainable Wood™ Lift kit will self-destruct in protest, if installed into a Toyota Land Cruiser. Instead, you can use the Endangered Wood™ Lift kit (but that kind of beats the purpose).
*A standard Coil Spring Lift kit will be included with the five first orders for when the Wood™ Lift kit breaks to smithereens (because it will happen).
**You can use those smithereens to build a campfire.
